I like him, but…

Relationships / May 1, 2020 / 202 Comments

Hey ladies,

This goes out to you and everything that you are trying to become in the confinement’s of the fuck shit we have to deal with on a daily basis! I’m not trying to come out the gate swinging at anyone… in this case, if you have been keeping up with the Confidently Awkward blog, I guess I would be talking about men (major eye roll to this)! Honestly at this very moment, I’m in the business of empowering us to stand in our truth and demand what it is we are looking for in a partner/ significant other.

As I have recently entered the dating scene once again, before all the courting each other got started, I made a promise to myself that I would do things different this time around. I would speak up and say what I wanted, which was a long term relationship and not settle for the slippery slope of being friends with benefits (FWB). Let me just tell you this ladies, I got caught up like I normally do! He was charming, somewhat of a social butterfly, and obviously the vibe were there! We agreed to just be friends because he wanted to be FWB and I wanted a long-term relationship. It became this tug of war almost weekly. He felt like I was being extra and I felt like he was being an asshole.

We would have multiple conversations about what the disconnect was and how we could get on the same page. But ladies you know how we get… I continued to get all in my feelings and didn’t know how to balance actually vibing out with this guy, but knowing that it wasn’t going to go anywhere. And to add on to things, we would send each other flirty text messages and face time conversations were great! He was so confusing to me because he would say one thing, but I knew he liked me and felt a different way than the hard exterior he was trying to put on when it came to us strictly being friends. He would often threaten our friendship over the times I was showing my “EXTRANESS.” At some moments it damn near felt like a whole ass relationship.

My confidently awkward peeps we have to do things different. I have observed that guys find it easy to detach from a woman when they have it set in their mind about only wanting to be FWB or even friends. Ladies we can not force a man to want to be with us after they outright state what they want out of a relationship. The one problem with that, is that there are some guys out there that play games. They don’t speak up about what they want, but you can tell with their actions. So be aware of those snakes in the grass, they’ll bite you and latch on for dear life! I want to challenge you to speak up for yourselves and take your power of decision making back when it comes to your vagina, when it comes to your relationships, hell… even when it comes to life decisions PERIOD! Ray Charles said, “It’s a mans world, but it would be nothing without a woman or a girl!” and no offense to Ray Charles, but it’s a woman’s world… forget that narrative!

So I guess you are wondering is this guy still around and the political response to that is… we’ll have to see! I like him, but I love me! I have to heal and learn to put myself first because I had been conditioned to put myself second when it came to different relationships. When we make decisions about certain things when it comes to our well-being, we need to be okay with saying no. No in the sense of knowing that this situation is toxic for my well-being and I’m going to choose to put myself first in every realm that I can! If the person is a genuine ass person, they can’t do anything but respect it. If they can’t, then let them walk out the door and figure out their own shit, your toxicity is not going to live here love!

In this process of healing, I find myself getting bogged down in emotions of feeling like I’ve failed my future self. I’ve failed trying to set myself up for not getting hurt again. But all of this is a part of life and I’m slowly navigating my way through the peaks and valleys. Some days I wish my healing would happen faster and that I would be where I want to be emotionally, but then I sit with myself, have those self talks, and try to be kind to myself and this entire process.

I hope you take on this challenge ladies! You can like him, but love yourself more! I’m rooting for you!

This is a safe, fun, and nonjudgmental space… use it for those purposes! But until next time peeps continue to be CONFIDENTLY AWKWARD… UNAPOLOGETICALLY that is!!!

Like, comment, and subscribe!

xoxo

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