Let’s Talk About Sex!

Enter at your own risk at these unapologetically Confidently Awkward moments from a few guest writers this week. All I can say is, communication is key, speak up in and out of the bedroom peeps. I hope you get a few laughs out of these 3 stories, they were written with you in mind!

I was coming off of this emotional rollercoaster of finding out that my boyfriend was cheating on me. I wanted some get back so I decided to find the most desperate man in my phone that would take me out, show me a good time, and do whatever the hell I wanted to do. I didn’t give a fuck about how he felt about me. All I knew is I wanted to feel this void inside of myself. I wanted to release this pain that I was feeling. And sleeping with another man seemed like the logical thing to do. I mean we’ve all been there a time or two, so what made me any different in that moment. I was going to get mine.

All of my communication with this man was through Snap Chat. He didn’t have my number and I didn’t have his. I had met this individual through some mutual friends and he had always complimented me and would give me the attention that I wanted. On this night I started to entertain him by sending risqué messages back and forth and toying with the fact that I had him right where I wanted him… in the palm of my hand. Every word I would text, he was just melting like butter. He asked to take me out and I obliged. And y’all I almost didn’t accept his invite because he didn’t have a car. I was like “are you serious?!” But obviously we live in the days of Uber and Lyft, so I let it slide in that moment.

We met up at a bar downtown. He was very touchy feely, a gentleman, and was paying for my drinks. I found myself getting extra tipsy, but hey, I just came off of a breakup… this was the ultimate celebration in my eyes. Fuck my ex! We sat down in a little corner and started whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears. We made our way over to the games where kept losing, but overall was having an amazing time. I didn’t want the night to be over, so we made our way to the next location… Uptown!

Uptown is a cool little area, filled with twenty somethings trying to look cool and make a name for themselves. It was overly packed in the bar that we went to, so we grabbed some pizza made our rounds and left. We went next door to a burger spot and ate some more. At this point, I was so far gone so we decided to head back to my place for some alone time. As Brittani would say, this is where shit got AWKWARD!

We started kissing, touching, and everything else. He was gentle, excited, and down for whatever. He loosens my braw, grabs my leg, and starts sucking on my toes. I was shocked! That shit had never happened to me before. I didn’t know what to say or how to act, but at this point I was down for whatever. You know at the point when it gets to where you try and figure out what to call them in bed. You have options of “Bae”, “Mike”, “Sasha” and whatever else… this man wanted me to call him “King.” My body was like what in the hell is going on here? You were not my king, we just met up for the first time in a long time, you barely new me; this was a one night stand as far as I was concerned. So as the night progressed, two rounds later. The emotions started to set in. Y’all my ass started crying. Not crying over this guy, but I was still not over my damn ex… I had gotten myself into a whole conundrum at this point. I had gotten my physical needs “met”, but I was laying there hurt to the core. I was able to fall asleep and shove that feeling down deep in my chest.

We woke up the next morning and this man did not want to leave, mind you he didn’t have a car, so I had to take him home. He took a shower, started rapping and talking about his mixtape, and whatever else was on his mind. It was like a scene out of the Dave Chappelle show, during the skit when he said “WRAP IT UP!” This shit was so crazy and unlike me. I eventually dropped him off and after that he posted some weird shit on Snap Chat and I deleted and blocked him all together! Don’t get me wrong I was attracted to him and we had good conversation, but where I was at in that moment was still hooked on my ex!

A little bit of a word of advice in these situations, take it slow and communicate. We have emotions and feelings that can have us doing the most. But all in all, I knew what I was doing just didn’t realize the after affect and ever since then, one night stands haven’t been a thing for me. We used each other that night in some way or another. It was a moment in time. But damn I wish I could take number 7 back. But hey, us women change the narrative all the time… we’ll just act like he didn’t count!

-xoxo The Audacity

We’ve all had that situation when you’re feeling someone and you KNOW that sex is next on the menu. It might be after a date, a night out or talking and sexting for months. But you just know you’re about to get it in, so you get prepared. You’ve got to be presentable from head to toe, might even get that kitty waxed and the anticipation is killing you! You have high hopes, you’ve been preparing for a while. And THEN, the awkward situation happens, you don’t know where to start! You’re both sitting there waiting for the other to make the next move and then he does, a few kisses and he says he has a condom. Your thanking God he is prepared because the condom in your purse was just a precaution and awkward to explain. He puts it on and puts it in! The sex is good but you’re thinking “Damn, can you play with the kitty a little bit. Do you know what foreplay even is?” Even though the sex is good, that was disappointing! He asks you how it was and you laugh and jokingly say “I give it an 8.” He looks disappointed but says he’ll take it.

But, will I take that again? WELL, I can say I did for a few more times. So, the last time we had sex, I asked to have foreplay. He replied, “Why? You’re already wet and you enjoy the sex!” I realized then that communication is really one of the most important aspects of all relationships, even if it is just sexual. Meeting the needs of each other should be the goal of sex. Having conversations about what you want sexually, not only makes for less disappointment but also can be a form of foreplay. I know I get turned on just talking about sex! Fellas, ask your girl what she likes, what she wants and how she wants it. Otherwise, no matter how good your D-game is, you’re really just being selfish and lazy. And, NO ONE wants a selfish lover! Ladies, tell that man what you want, when you want it and how! If he can’t take the hint, well he does not deserve that kitty! Take five minutes to tell each other what you want and watch you work your magic!

Thank me later! 😉

-xoxo The Communication Goddess

Well helloooo yall!

Cheers to the secrets we do not share with the world but only with our tribe, well today is your lucky day Confidently Awkward readers! Let’s talk about SEX BABY, lets talk about you and me or let’s talk about the time my kitten licked my booty calls…BOOTY hole (deadass)!!!

It was the end of the year, 2017 I believe, and I hadn’t had some in almost a year so I had connected with this guy about 14 years younger than me (he was legal)! What was I thinking? Oh I wasn’t! I was thinking about the D in ME. ANYWAYS, he was cute, mixed boy, pretty eyes, big sausage type… so I thought! So I mustered up the courage to go forward with the plan of having him come over that night. I get ready, ready in the sense of… I shaved e v e r y t h i n g, showered, and I smelled amazing! I was a nice little snack waiting to get hammed because you know he was talking like he could do some damage in the dungeon aka bedroom!

He Snap Chatted me that he was at my place, I was nervous so I took a shot. He gets to my door and I notice that he is way cuter in person. I didn’t know how to start a booty call, it’s super rare for me to even schedule something like this. We sit on the couch and start playing a sex card game because I thought thats what you do, but it seemed like that wasn’t the “it” thing to do. Men just want to have sex RIGHT THEN AND THERE… they’re thinking how long do we have to do this until we get to it! We then both took shots and started kissing. He sucked at kissing so then we moved from the living room to my bedroom and we started having sex. I started kissing his neck and as I was doing this, I could tell that this man DID NOT SHOWER. I could taste the saltiness on his body! I should have kicked him out right then and there, the DISRESPECT! He got a delicate cheesecake and I got a salt bar, wtf! Like I said, I should have said something!

As the night went on I could tell nothing was going to go right because our bodies weren’t in sync. We would start doing things and then stop, take a break, go to the living room and then go back into the bedroom. I had no idea what the hell was going on at this point! The last time we went into the bedroom he was going down on me and I guess his butt was in the air, and then out of nowhere, my KITTY licked his butthole and he YELPED like, “WTF, I think your cat just licked my ass.” In true fashion, I dismissed the comment and acted like nothing happened. But after that happened, the mood was never recovered. He couldn’t keep it up… I guess my cats scratchy tongue really got to him. So we just talked after that and it was clear he was immature by the conversation, his perception of life and opinions. I had enough and said bye, not a thank you for your service, but hey I am so sorry my cat licked your butthole and I hope you have a good night!

I mean maybe the night would have went different if I would have communicated certain things in a different way, but hey it made for one CATastrophic story! Stay awkward y’all!

-xoxo Lollipop

I would like to thank the writers for their unapologetically Confident Awkward situations. Women sure do go through a lot of interesting situations!

This is a safe, fun, and nonjudgmental space… use it for those purposes! LIKE, COMMENT, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE! But until next time Peeps continue to be CONFIDENTLY AWKWARD… UNAPOLOGETICALLY that is!!!