He Didn’t Deserve A Second Chance

So I gave him a second chance y’all and it was the worst mistake that I EVER made! It was all good until it wasn’t. My expectations were high, he was showing me a different side of him, and there was potential to be something more. My Confidently Awkward Peeps, please be a fly on the wall as I take you through our third date and the aftermath of it all.

The third date didn’t go as planned. The original plan was to do this fun activity but due to COVID and not being able to reserve a spot, we had to go to Plan B. One second, let me back up a bit. So me and said individual planned to link up at 7PM. As far as I knew everything was fine, until he shoots me a message saying “Damn girl, I had to wait all day to see you!” Basically, he wanted to see me earlier than we had planned. Mind you, he didn’t know if I had anything going on or even had the decency to ask… closed mouths don’t get fed. All you need to do is communicate!!! Let me say that again… ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS COMMUNICATE!My response to this random text was one of confusion and irritation. I just knew this date was going to go way left, but I calmed myself down. I told him that I didn’t like his comment and that I would see him at 7. Okay now we can fast forward to our link up. He did all that complaining about wanting to see me earlier and his ass ended up getting there later than me. I definitely gave him shit about it for sure!

Plan B for the date was to go to the bowling alley, which we both were excited to do. Seeing that I hadn’t been in a while and he was fine with whatever, as long as we were hanging out. He follows me to Memory Lanes. Those of y’all who were raised on the Southside of Minneapolis, know that this bowling alley is a staple. So we get there and go up to the counter to pay for everything, get our shoes, and find our lane. I was excited to whoop his ass in bowling and also have a conversation with him about previous events, as to why we got off on the wrong foot. He was super quiet, but I could tell he was hearing me out. We ordered some food and drinks and the vibes began to flow. I was actually starting to like him… again!

As the night progressed, the music became more of our speed, the alcohol started to kick in, and we had some cute little banter back and forth. Before I would start bowling, he would come up behind me and put his arm around my waist (grabbing me around my waste, is a sure thing to get you in trouble… in a good way)! I took pictures of our scores, he took a video of me and posted it to his Instagram story. I was starting to feel like we were getting somewhere! I beat him 4 out of the 5 games that we played, but honestly it was the most fun that I’ve had in a while. The night was still young, but everything closed at 11. So I suggested since I live around the corner, he could pull up and we could chill outside my place. He agreed and proceeded to say that he had to use the bathroom, but would drive to the gas station and use the restroom there. I guess he was really on his gentleman shit that night. Then I sent him my address and let him know to text me when he was downstairs. He pulled up about 10 minutes later and says that their restrooms were closed. I let him know to come upstairs and use the bathroom, it wasn’t a big deal. After he uses the bathroom, we talk for a little bit and he’s like “I don’t want to invade your space, but could you walk me to my car?” I obliged. As soon as I get to the passenger side door and open it, there were flowers sitting on the seat. It was the cutest thing ever and my heart literally melted! I thanked him 10 times over and asked for a hug.

We began to talk and listen to music. He played some oldies and then we got on our Lil Wayne shit, he was a bigger fan than me! I couldn’t believe it. We started holding hands and vibing out the best way possible. I let him know that I was really attracted to him, but sometimes his approach threw me off. At this point it was about 2:30AM and it was about that time for me to head inside. I wanted a nice hug and at first he declined, but then agreed. So I walk over to the drivers side and he gives me a full embrace. That whole wrap around the waste, grab your ass kind of embrace, and before you knew it, we were full on making out. This back and forth went on for at least an hour. It’s never in my nature to tempt someone, but we were having a good time and it was the touch I needed. He began to ask me if he could stay and sleep on the couch, but I knew where all that shit would lead to. He understood, but I think it was hard for the both of us. But also, he needed to redeem himself because he had pissed me off one too many times!

Waking up the next day, I felt really good about the date and this guy. Obviously, the flowers on the seat won me over. It was nice to be treated like a Queen, and for someone to actually court me and show some type of effort. It seemed like he wanted to hangout with me again, so I found some events that were going on in the community that day. And since he had voiced that he wanted to spend more time with me, I thought this could be something we could do together. But he had to study for a job and had to rain check, so I went about my day and just knew we would link up eventually. So we texted everyday, still getting to know each other and figuring out when the next time we would link up. In between that time, he started doing stuff that I didn’t like, so once again, I started getting irritated with him. I was trying to give him a second chance, so I was being cordial and nice through it all. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew this wouldn’t last long. And here is where everything went downhill.

Those that know me, know that I’m a planner and if we agreed to link up on a certain day. I expect you to communicate if plans changed or to confirm a different plan. So the following Saturday I left the day wide open for him. This time I figured I would even see if he wanted to hangout earlier. So I texted him to confirm us hanging out, but then he hits me back 3 hours later. I understood he was busy, but dont have me waiting around because I could have made other plans. So essentially I told him that he needed to communicate better and told him to have a great rest of his weekend. And in true fashion we didn’t text for a few days, and in those few days I saw him posting and enjoying his weekend. My response to that was to send a paragraph of saying “goodbye” and then blocking him. I will admit my Confidently Awkward Peeps, this may not be the best solution to your problem, but it felt good to me in the moment. Sometimes I am impulsive when it comes to dating and when my bullshit radar goes off, it goes OFF! But guess what I did after all of that?! I unblocked him after a day and this man hit me up. He hit me with the “find an activity to do. I’ll see you Saturday” and my goofy ass agreed.

It was the way he came at my life, he kind of checked me, but can y’all feel the toxicity in all this? And mind you, I’m just dating this guy; we aren’t even in a damn relationship! So the day goes on and “we make up”, but then he goes way left again. This man just doesn’t know how to talk to me and he comes off rude as hell. I’ve reached a certain age where “make me some food and I’m going to sit on your couch” is not fucking attractive to me AT ALL! Like are you kidding me?! After this statement and my rebuttal or actual repulsion to that comment, he starts lashing out on me. Talking about how he had a bad day and just wanted to come over and chill. My response to that was “well say that then! You say x, y, and z, when it can just be x!” He was pissed, I was pissed, but here’s what we not going to do. You are not going to be manipulative, disrespectful, and hateful towards me when you don’t know me from a can of paint. It was the audacity for me Peeps! He actually had me questioning who the fuck I was. I took this information to my friends and they immediately said that I should block him! When I woke up the next day, I read a “wyd” text. I politely let him know that I didn’t want to get to know him anymore and to leave me alone. And no response was needed.

Ladies and gents, I’m a real patient, understanding, and respectful person, but when you show your ass, I no longer stick around for the bullshit. This man was OD toxic and literally reminded me of my ex. My friends made the comment like “you’re handling this better than I would!” It was sad to hear, but I had dealt with a bigger asshole than him, so it didn’t phase me. That’s not to say that his behavior was okay, I just have been through a lot in my life, than to let this little boy rattle me. He didn’t get the chance to fully know me and he would never in this lifetime get a third chance with me.

If there’s one thing that I would like for you to take away from all this, is that when someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them. It may sound cliche, but that shit is real. I never really had a good feeling about this guy, but he was so persistent and he seemed like he wanted to get to know me on a deeper level, but that was far from the truth. He has a lot more growing up to do and I don’t have the time or the patience to stick around. I want someone who is ready and doesn’t talk to me like we are back in high school, it’s so unattractive. I hate when men say that women are controlling and we overthink. I find power in saying what I mean, and meaning what I say. It’s called knowing what I want and not settling for mediocrity. PERIOD! I hope my Confidently Awkward Peeps find solidarity in my words and find the strength within themselves to walk away from a situation that could be detrimental to who you are becoming. You are bold, vibrant, and thriving… continue on that path of greatness and fuck the bullshit. I believe in you!

This is a safe, fun, and nonjudgmental space… use it for those purposes! LIKE, COMMENT, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE! But until next time Peeps continue to be CONFIDENTLY AWKWARD… UNAPOLOGETICALLY that is!!!