It Was Our First Time

It was one of those nights when you leave a party, just to return home and find your cat waiting up for you. Yeah I know, super uneventful for the most part. The one thing that was on my mind was trying to sober up and hitting a special someone up to see what they were up to. I guess you could say that these were booty call hours, but I would call this a “hey I’m at home, want to come through” hours! So I sent the message and got a response right away and before you knew it, he was at my crib and we were kicking it. I started making small talk, turned on some music, and we had a few shots on top of us already being a little tipsy. He was looking so good, was dressed really nice, and was talking extra spicy to me. Everything that I had on my list, he was checking off and I was eating it up. At times I feel like I can’t be overly myself with this person because he means a lot to me and I’m sure you all are probably like, ‘well why don’t y’all make it official?’ You can’t really make it official with someone that isn’t on the same page as you and then it goes back to the issue of me talking to emotionally unavailable men. But that’s neither here nor there. I’m still dating and getting to know other people, but y’al know you always got that one special person that got a little piece of your heart.

So as the night continued, we both knew where things were headed and it was time to “knockout” because we both had a busy day. I turned on some tunes and got the vibe right. Ladies you know when you text a man to come over, y’all have this innocent tone of just wanting to “cuddle” but then things turn into a little bit more. We cuddled for a good 15 minutes. There was something about his cuddle that made me feel comfortable and safe; it was beyond intimate, our vibe was undeniable. His arms were wrapped around me like I was a gift and I was his present. He pulled me closer into him and I was ingulfed in his embrace. I took numerous deep breaths and within those moments the energy intensified. I turned around and we were face to face. This wasn’t our first time in each others presence like this, but it was the first time we ever kissed. Yes, you read that right. It was our first time kissing! I didn’t ask this time. I don’t know about you ladies, but for me, I don’t feel like kissing is such a big deal, if anything kissing can have you figuring out if there is a vibe between both of you. I’ve heard from some guys that kissing is super intimate, but having sex isn’t, which is really interesting and confusing to me. Obviously, don’t kiss any and everyone, but I feel like kissing is important.

As we continued to kiss each other, I was smiling on the inside. Don’t ask me why… this time just felt a little different. We invaded each others space in the most elegant way. We moved around each other’s body so natural and effortless. His body spoke to mine and mine to his. Nothing felt awkward, there was a confidence in the air that was undeniable. We both were tipsy and my ass was saying the funniest shit ever. I gushed over how cute he was and began saying that he was toxic and then questioning if I was toxic. Ladies, you all know that we will say things while tipsy, that intensifies the entire moment. But one thing I do know is that there was nothing toxic about the moment. There was an unspoken energy in the air. We were one in that moment and once we came down, everything was peaceful and magical. Our bodies were interwined like all the pieces to the puzzle were put together. We eventually let go of our embrace and went back to our cuddling position. Something was different that night and I can equate it to our first kiss.

I know you are like, ‘but what about everything else?’ And yes that was amazing, but for this particular person, I felt like the kiss symbolized so much more and it all made the moment that much better. We ended up falling asleep and woke up on the right side of the bed. We had a great time. There was nothing awkward about what we did and how we would be with one another afterwards. We needed each other in that moment and took it for what it was. We still texted, talked, and seen each other after it all. Something about maturity and understanding that makes a lot of things less complicated. Some things you take them for face value; nothing more, nothing less.

This moment in time was a choice, that I would never regret and still wouldn’t if it came up again. I’m still actively me meeting people and trying to find my person. So ladies and gents, you can still have your fun and still try to find a partner. The best advice that I got is to date multiple people, don’t just stop at the one said individual that you might like a little more than the others; have options. Amongst those interactions, something is bound to just click for you and that person. Don’t hesitate to send that text to someone you trust and vibe with. But also remember that not everyone deserves to be in your space or experience the greatness that you are, so definitely be selective. You are the PRIZE!

This is a safe, fun, and nonjudgmental space… use it for those purposes! LIKE, COMMENT, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE! But until next time Peeps continue to be CONFIDENTLY AWKWARD… UNAPOLOGETICALLY that is!!!