I’m In Like With 3 People

So, have you ever been In Like With 3 People at the same time? Each individual serves a specific purpose in your life, but neither one of them fulfills just one spot in your heart of hearts.  Most situations that you hear about are when guys have their main girl and a few sidepieces for the purpose of only God knows what, but I could only guess… let me submit a few of my assumptions:

• Sexual preferences
• Physical appearance (thick vs. skinny female)
•  Having options
• Not ready to commit
• Financial gain
• Stroking of the ego

And there’s many, many more I’m sure you thought of as you we reading this.  But let’s just pause for a second and play devil’s advocate… I’ve heard many times from guys that us women are just as bad, if even worse, when it comes to having a “main” and a few “sidepieces” for lack of a better term! Which I don’t want to agree or disagree with them, but game recognize game in certain situations.  Let me submit my assumptions for the female voice:

• Sexual preferences
• Physical Appearance (beard vs. no beard lol)
• Having options
• Quality time
• Intellectual aspects
• Fulfilling an emotional void

There are obviously some similarities and difference, but why does one sex have to be worse than the other.  Everything is situational and taking into account what stage people are at in their lives, it shouldn’t matter right?!

Some years ago, I was at a different stage in my life.  I was almost at the end of a 7 year relationship with someone that was my whole word, my first love, my first everything.  Close to the end of that relationship, I went over to my friends house and she randomly asked, “do you want to find out your love language?”  I was so confused, why would I want to know what my love language was?! Love is love, 2+2 equals 4, to me it wasn’t rocket science.  But me being the curious person that I am, I was like “what the hell”, I’ll just take it and move on with my life.  If you’ve never taken this test before, her are the Love Languages:

• Quality Time
• Words of Affirmation
• Acts of Service
• Physical Touch &
• Receiving Gifts

When I took this test some years ago, my top love languages were Quality Time (score: 9) & Physical Touch (score: 7), taking this test about an hour ago today, my top love languages were Quality Time (score: 12) & Words of Affirmation (score: 6).  I was surprised by the results and began to want to explore why Physical Touch had moved so far off of my radar and was replaced with Words of Affirmation.

To give you a little background into my 7 year relationship… I was young and dumb.  Didn’t spend a lot of time with this person and when I did, the dates were rocked by major chaos and emotional instability.  We were two young people in love, trying to grow together, but neither of us had the tools to navigate through this life together and that’s okay (sidebar: we are cool now lol)!  I was physically connected to him because he was all I ever knew and he was the only person I had ever experienced anything with (first kiss, unconditional love).  These were the things that were important to me then, but now after taking this test, I can certainly feel and understand the shift in my life.

So obviously the blog is called I’m In Like With 3 people, which WAS a fact.  I tussled back and forth about telling you all this information, but who the hell cares… what’s the point of doing this blog, if I’m not going to let my confidently awkward peeps in?  And honestly this shit is therapeutic as hell!

Let me continue… I was in like with 3 people and of course each one served a different purpose. One fulfilled this intellectual piece that I wasn’t getting from one, one fulfilled this entrepreneurial/self-starter piece that I wasn’t getting from one, and one fulfilled the physical piece that I wasn’t getting from the other.  From the outside looking in one may wonder, why would you put yourself through that, why get your emotions locked up in these situations? And honestly I really couldn’t tell you specifically what it was, I can only guess at this point.  Maybe it was being in a relationship and never having other experiences, maybe it was me trying to explore my options and not really being ready to settle down with just one, or maybe I just wanted to see who was the most loyal and who I could actually call my potential “boo-thang”!  I can speculate so many things and as I’m writing this, I’m guessing you’re thinking “this girl has low self-esteem!”  And that’s far from the truth, I just live my life in a way that may be hard for the normal person to understand and honestly I’m still trying to figure it out myself… as I’m sure, you’re too!

As I begin to correlate this love language situation and being in like with 3 people, the switch from Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation didn’t seem too far-fetched. Physical touch took on a new meaning for me, it wasn’t something that was so sacred anymore with the people I had been sharing this with. And I came to the conclusion that I could get physical touch any time I wanted, but that wasn’t enough and wasn’t fulfilling anything within myself, it just left me even more empty! But now as I’m growing I need and yearn for words of affirmation behind that.  I’ve been in multiple situations where it was hard for that individual to tell me they loved me or express how they felt about me in the most genuine way.  Those are the things that can lighten up your day and make things that much easier.  I’m looking for these types of affirmations… not that text at 10PM talking about what you “would do to me” or what you “want to do to me”.  It’s deeper than that.  So instead of being in like with 3 people, I’m trying to be IN LOVE with one person; my soulmate!

I know I threw a lot at you on this one, but just ride this wave with me… at times the tide might be high, but trust me it will calm.  If you have some time today find out your love language, it takes about 5 minutes, get the conversation started and try to make some connections to what and who you value in your life… it’s worth it!

And I didn’t get any money for plugging that damn website! Lol

Love Language:

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Please comment and share. This is a safe, fun, and nonjudgmental space… use it for those purposes!

But until next time continue to be CONFIDENTLY AWKWARD… UNAPOLOGETICALLY that is!!!

-xoxo