Ask Relly: Shoot Your Shot

The Confidently Awkward has the pleasure of announcing a collaboration with a fellow blogger, Relly. There will be a new concept within the blogs called Ask Relly. This will be a time for you all to get the male perspective on all things us women want to know about. So sit back and enjoy the ride. Cheers to Ask Relly!

Brittani: About a week ago I sent one of my good friends a clip of a Kevin Samuels video. My Confidently Awkward Peeps, if you do not have the pleasure of knowing who this man is, I suggest you start by googling his name or finding his Instagram. He’s this pretentious, egocentric man, who has a lot to say about women and what they should be doing to get them a man and/or husband. I cringe at the thought of this black man commenting on us women and our physical and mental being, but as I began to delve deeper into his podcasts and videos, I started to see a silver lining in SOME things that he was addressing. I wince at even making this statement, but there is fact and fiction in some of his comments.

The one video that I watched in particular explained how women should start shooting their shot when it comes to talking to men. Now for me, I have shot my shot one time in my life and it was the most liberating thing that I had ever done. It was an opportunity that I couldn’t pass up and didn’t want to pass up. Needless to say that situation didn’t end with a ring on my finger but I gave it a try, but haven’t been back since. Not because I’m afraid but because I’d like to think that men want to court us and be this big “macho man” and get our number when we are out at a club throwing it back on them! In my opinion, men like to pursue women. I thought we were the prize. I thought your ego couldn’t allow us to come up to you and ask for your number! According to Kevin Samuels we’ve got it all wrong and as women we need to try harder in courting these men. Speaking for me and my group of friends, we do put ourselves out there, but honestly it still ends up with the same results… lackluster dick and talking to men who are emotionally unavailable. So you are damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

With all this talk of women shooting their shot. I am somewhat traditional when it comes to dating and talking to someone, but it’s not beneath me to go up to a guy, if the vibe is right, and ask for their number. And let’s face it ladies the ratio of women to men is astronomically unbalanced. My Confidently Awkward Peeps, you have heard my side of the story on this topic of shooting your shot, but I think it’s actually time to get the males perspective on how they feel about us women shooting our shot. I think it’s time to ASK RELLY! From what I know he’s been out in the dating world for some time and knows a thing or to, so who better to speak on what men would like to see when it comes to this topic. And let’s remember, he’s not speaking for all men, but if anything, giving us women some insight into the male logic of these concepts. So Relly… let us know something! Give us all the tea! SPILL IT!!!

Relly: Alright, alright. If you need an explanation then I’ll elaborate. Nobody wants to be Pepe LePew. Classic gender roles are dead. The women my grandfather dealt with are definitely not the women of today. The modern woman has been raised to pick and choose who she wants because she has the power to do so. This may make some of you roll your eyes but it’s not easy to be a man and also be assertive. My grandfather or even my father going up to a woman and trying to get close to her is seen as romantic. I can say the same line today and make the same effort but before the end of the day I’m a screenshot in her groupchat and labeled as that “thirsty corny” dude. I’m going to put you out there a little Brittani, my fault, but that part where you said you approached that guy and it didn’t end with a ring was wild to me. Imagine a man moving like that. Speaking to someone you find attractive and instantly expecting them to be your wife would make everyone you come across run away. That mentality is a thin line away from being an episode of Netflix’s YOU.

“Hey you, sitting at the bar sipping your margarita while the dj plays city girls. They’re all on the dance floor twerking but no, not you, you’re different. You don’t want to get the bread, get the head, then leave. You’re waiting for the right one to spend your forever with. You’re waiting for me. “

In the words of the great Kendrick Lamar, FUCK THAT 🤣😂😂 We’re all damned if we do or damned if we don’t but it puts everyone on the same page. Women today decide they want to be in a relationship and then find the next guy that checks off enough boxes to fill that spot. To take it a step further, there are women who even do that to find a father when they’re ready to have kids. Google it, it’s real out here. That’s why so many times you see men bending over backwards and having so much trouble figuring out their partner. They’re playing catch up to her ever-changing expectations. Women shooting their shot is just an extra step in communication. I know you want me like I want you and we can start good vibes with full transparency. Nobody is an accessory in the relationship, it’s a partnership.

Brittani: I can totally agree with you on relationships being a partnership and communication is key, but when it comes to this shooting our shot shit it’s all very complicated to say the least. It feels like a song and dance. Statistically the numbers may not be there for women who are shooting their shot, but DAMN IT we are out here doing the work. I mean when this question was brought to your attention. The response was a big ass YES!!! for women shooting their shot. So what I want to challenge all you ladies out there reading this blog, that the next time you are out at a bar and you see a fine, nice looking man across from you, SHOOT YOUR SHOT!!! It sounds like men are tired of making the first move. Get out of your comfort zone and make something shake. What’s the worst that could happen?! REJECTION! Yes, that’s always a possibility, but we all go through it a time or two. There’s no harm in trying it out and if it doesn’t work out, I guess you can go back to the chick sitting at the bar, waiting for her knight and shining armor to ask for the digits! Kevin Samuels won’t be too happy about that.

Well I think Relly gave us a dose of what we needed. He may have triggered you all (I know I was) or he may have enlightened you on some things that you didn’t know would be helpful. But all in all, he comes from a place of good vibes. Ask Relly ain’t no joke, I can’t wait to delve in to some more tea! I hope you all are ready for this…straight no chaser!

This is a safe, fun, and nonjudgmental space… use it for those purposes! LIKE, COMMENT, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE! If you would like to reach out to me, my email is theconfidentlyawkward@gmail.com. But until next time Peeps continue to be CONFIDENTLY AWKWARD… UNAPOLOGETICALLY that is!!!