Ghosting 101

Relationships / April 10, 2020 / 296 Comments

Hey my Confidently Awkward peeps! I’ve got to be real with y’all as always… sometimes it get’s really difficult writing these blogs, especially when your mind is consumed by the positive vibrations of new energies that have come into your life. It makes writing about the “bad stuff” super hard. We are in this together and I am glad you all are along for the ride.

Now that I have gotten that out the way. This will not be the end all, be all for how to ghost someone. I literally can only count on one hand the amount of times I have ghosted someone, but let me tell you, it is not a good feeling to ghost someone and then to have someone ghost you. As a person that hates and sometimes loves confrontation, ghosting seems like the easy way out for me at times. It’s easy to just block someone and delete their number or just stop responding to their texts. I know in my blogs I try to play both sides of the fence, but y’all I’m going to take a stand today and say STOP THAT SHIT, DO NOT GHOST SOMEONE!!! I know a lot of mess has been going on in 2020, but we have got to leave that ghosting mess in the past. In the moment, yes you get off easy and don’t have to deal with the back and forth of you telling the person you are no longer interested in them. At the same time, don’t you think it’s only right that the other person know what’s up? I’m not innocent in all of this, but I have to be upfront an honest when it comes to this. I know you all know what’s coming next right? You know I have to give my confidently awkward peeps the juice… I hope y’all are keeping up!

So there was this guy that I was somewhat infactuated with from high school. I was the girl whose head stayed in the books and wouldn’t dare talk or touch a boy. I was just very awkward and weird (still am ’til this day, but whatever)! I stared at him from afar, but never had the courage to say anything, and then BAM… I’m in a seven year relationship. Crazy, right?! So we all know that Minnesota is small and the chances of you seeing someone you know out, is very likely! So I see this guy out and I got the courage to actually tell him that I used to like him in high school. I was so excited and proud of myself, that I got the courage to even open my mouth to say those words. His response, “that’s what everybody has said.” I immediately smurked and walked off. All the while I’m thinking in my head, “wow, what an ass!”

Fast forward a few years later and he slides in my DM’s and we are flirting back and forth and catching up on life. Then it get’s to the point where we go on a couple of dates. Mind you at this point, just getting out of something and going on actual dates… I was a fish out of water, didn’t know what the hell I was doing. But one thing you should know about me is that I go with the flow and am down to try new things, within moderation! So the dates went well, but I could tell that I was not into him as much as I though I was. That high school phase was completely OVER! So we continued to text here and there, but I quicklly noticed his texting skills were not up to par. Mind you, he did not have an iPhone! I’m not knocking androids, but damn sometimes I want to play iMessage games or Facetime. I found myself asking friends for advice on what I should do and the consensus was that I should really let him know that I wasn’t feeling it.

So I’m feel the pressure building up and was over his horrible texting and communication. I sent a text that I thought would end it all and lessen the blow, but I immediately received two long paragraphs back about “trying again”, “I’m sorry, but I understand if you don’t want to talk to me.” I felt like the worst person in the world and my ass gave it another try, but still the same feeling and same results. Someone who were to read my messages I sent to him to cut things off, could interpret it as me beating around the bush. From my perspective, I thought it was genius and he would get the hint. Nope! It definitely didn’t happen that way. This man tried harder to prove himself to me and I just began to play the “nice girl” role and act like I was interested. Things definitely fizzled out, but I ghosted.

After having a deep conversation with someone about this situation, I began to realize what my mistake was in all this and began to put myself in this guys shoes. That’s when I started to empathize and realize that I may eventually have to right my wrongs in this situation. I obviously preached at the beginning that ghosting is wrong, but I had to tell my truth about me ghosting someone and what I will actively do moving forward. No one wants to get ghosted, but it happens to the best of us. I wouldn’t say it’s a character flaw, but more so growing pains. As we get older, we mature and have to grab life by the balls (sorry couldn’t think of anything else to get y’all to really pick up what I was throwing down) and handle business! The whole dating thing isn’t easy y’all, but I’m here for the journey.

Here’s to never ghosting again and grabbing life by the balls!!!

This is a safe, fun, and nonjudgmental space… use it for those purposes!

But until next time peeps continue to be CONFIDENTLY AWKWARD… UNAPOLOGETICALLY that is!!!

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