Knew better, Do Better

The “old saying” goes, If you knew better, you’d do better… right?! But today I’m here to challenge this very statement, that somehow through this journey of adulting that sometimes we don’t know better, and at times we really don’t do better, and I’m here to tell you that is okay !!!

*Spoiler Alert: this post will reference some things from Insecure by Issa Rae*

Let me paint a picture for you about today’s festivities… I linked up with the bestie, made dinner, had a glass of wine, and we sat for 5 minutes waiting for the main event to pop up on HBO, Insecure! I sat there with so much excitement kee-kee’ing (this is a form of gossiping, shit talking, and having loud outbursts at the television) about all the drama that was happening when each character was interacting with another character. Then I just zoned in to the main topic that was occurring in almost every scene… can you guess?! Well let me not let you linger any longer… FUCK BUDDIES!!! Yes I know, I know… that was quite brash, but what the hell it’s my Blog and I want to be confidently awkward… unapologetically that is!

So let’s break down the term FUCK BUDDY. If you ask me, there’s nothing “buddy buddy” about it and the only fuck part about it is that it fucks with your mind, body, and soul. Do you know someone whose been a fuck buddy, are you suffering from fuck buddy-isms?! I would advise you to GET OUT!!! As a survivor of this thing we call fuck buddy… it doesn’t solely define you and I will not let that dictate how I operate and do business around these parts… parts being my mind, body, and soul!

Okay, so you obviously have 2 sides to every story and then there’s the truth. When it comes to fuck buddies, you have one side where both parties have made this unwritten contract about what their sex life is going to be. This includes hitting him/her up at 11pm (booty call hours) to perform some very ungodly acts of service aka sex you guys!!! Then you have a side of fuck buddies where one person starts catching feelings more than the other person and that’s usually the woman in cases that I have scene. But then guys and gals there’s the truth.

As I continued to watch Insecure… it dawned on me that not just the woman catches feelings and it’s not just sex. I feel that when you have sex with someone you are sharing a part of your soul with that individual. Granted in my journey, I always felt like men didn’t have feelings, but I’m here to tell you ladies and gents… they fucking do. No matter how hard their interior or exterior is, they have feelings! The truth lies in the fact that this term fuck buddies is an urban legend and it’s not possible to be fuck buddies. I don’t care what anyone says… with sex you connect on many different levels, vibrations, and energy! So I’m here writing to you today, to say fuck the term FUCK BUDDIES, its a waste of time and space.

I will say while you are riding a certain type of sexual wave… trust me, it can be fun, but let’s go back to if you knew better, you’d do better! In the context of fuck buddies, I think we all know how those situations are going to end or what’s going to come of them, so why don’t we do better?! We don’t do better because we are trying to live our best lives, whatever that means, looks, and feels like to you. Sometimes in life we take 3 steps forward, just to take 2 steps back, but my philosophy is to look at the glass half full and shoot figuring out those calculations, that 1 step has to account for something!!!

Please comment and share. This is a safe, fun, and nonjudgmental space… use it for those purposes!

But until next time continue to be CONFIDENTLY AWKWARD… UNAPOLOGETICALLY that is!!!

-xoxo