pROBlematic!

A letter to you…

That moment when I met you and our paths crossed. I was like “yeah he’s the one!” He’s the one in the sense of you crossed out every box that I had on my list that day. Your smile, your generosity, your willingness to help me with something that I wasn’t knowledgeable in, and the fact that we met so organically that day, was something I had never experienced before. Although, from that first interaction I thought I met my match. But like every girl that does her research, you had a girlfriend. My little old heart wasn’t crushed but more so like damn somebody snatched up a good one.

It was back to the drawing board for me. Got into a whole situationship and then just began the whole dating process over again. I’m not sure what you were doing then, but I can only guess that you were being somewhat of an amazing boyfriend to someone that wasn’t me. And no I’m not bitter or JADED, I’m just stating facts! Our paths would cross every once in a while and of course there was always social media, but nothing was ever taken out of context or any one trying something with the other.

Fast forward to a few years or more later and here you are single. I’m single. But yet once again we are at two different places in our lives. Both have experienced being in a long term relationship, but got out of them at different times. But there is just this uncanny chemistry that neither one of us can deny. In an effort of doing things different when it comes to people in my life. I want to try and treat this different, I want to handle you different. I want so much but yet I can’t want so much. Being upfront and clear with you about everything has been so refreshing, but within your truth I have to accept where you are in your life. And God knows I have a lot of healing to do within myself.

Don’t get me wrong… I will continue to enjoy the moments of endless conversations, the long walks through mysterious woods, and trying new restaurants we’ve never tried before. I’m still learning me and in the process, learning who you are inside and out… and this warms my heart everyday. Makes me look at the world at a totally different angle!

I really like you, but there is a but! I begin to want to close off from you and just not give into your charming ways, or stare into those deep brown eyes where I can feel my heart racing and the butterflies starting to engulf my entire body. Something about the vibes and the energy I get is beyond magnetic, it’s almost poetic!

Alright, alright let me calm down… I think you get the point. Putting my feelings out there was definitely tough, but I know you will handle my heart with care. I’m just going to sit back, relax and try and enjoy the ride, and stick to how I want to handle myself and my interactions with you. I’m not going to lie and say this will be easy, but I’m willing to try. I’m sure this was a lot to take in, but I’m sure you can handle it!

And to my confidently awkward peeps… I’m going to need all the support I can get! So like, comment, subscribe, and I’ll take any unsolicited advice I can get!

This is a safe, fun, and nonjudgmental space… use it for those purposes! But until next time peeps continue to be CONFIDENTLY AWKWARD… UNAPOLOGETICALLY that is!!!