You Got A Whole Girlfriend… WTF Do You Want?!

Disclaimer: To all the guys out there that have a girlfriend, be a good boyfriend and stop turning to other women when you find one discrepancy in your relationship. It’s called communication… use it!

I felt the need to put that disclaimer because there is an epidemic of men out there getting their rocks off thinking it’s okay to be in a full committed relationship, but dibble and dabble with other females. I hope you all can feel the animosity and anger coming through this blog because someone I dated had the audacity to bait me and try me numerous times, once it was FINALLY established that he had a whole ass girlfriend. To the ladies that find themselves in a weird position like this, if the guy starts writing you in your DM’s instead of via text message, something is up! You obviously have my number, why don’t you just text me?! Oh, I know why… you got a whole ass girlfriend and you tryna be sneaky as hell!

So the DM’s from this person started off with him trying to catch up with me and see how I was doing. I was cool with this conversation, but as the conversation kept going I could tell he was dropping some not so subtle hints! I dodged every one of them because I knew this was their once a month check-in and I had definitely moved on and he was none of my concern anymore… word to Jhené Aiko! He began to confide in me about what was missing in his relationship and I gladly told him that he needs to communicate those things with his girlfriend! I was not there for his viewing pleasure or to play into this narrative of being a side chick. The part where I felt disrespected was in the fact that he knew about my last relationship and how that all ended, so I thought he would have some empathy to be respectful. But that was far from the case.

As he continued to write me. I began to realize that I dodged a bullet. I had once thought so highly of this man and actually wanted to be with him. But seeing how he was low key trying to do his girl, I wouldn’t dare want to be on the other end of that. He was mentally cheating on his girlfriend and was trying to physically cheat with me. I’m always trying to preach to the men I know, that they should love on their woman and focus on the good and put in work if you really want to be with that person. I no longer have time to let a female know about their man trying to step out on them. What’s done in the dark comes to light. And in the mean time, I’m always going to exit stage left! I have no time to be blocking my blessings.

After this situation happened, I had a conversation with a couple of my male friends and one of them out right stated that he cheated on his girl about a month ago and she didn’t even know. I outright asked him, “What was the reason? Why did you do that? Was it worth it?” He basically expressed that he was bored with the situation and wanted to experience some new vagina. He stated that it wasn’t worth it because the sexual encounter was trash! I sat there and shook my head… I was in shock! I gave him shit and expressed that he needs to chill out and not do that again! Especially given the fact that his girl holds him and his child down. It was fucking sad and disheartening to say the least. I left the bar confused and started to feel like all men were trash. But one thing about me my Confidently Awkward Peeps, I’m a sucker for love, so I continue to learn, grow, and not internalize these situations. It’s hard at times, but I manage.

Through all these experiences and interactions I’ve learned that women take on a lot of shit that we’ve never asked for, but the one thing we must stress to these men is that you will respect us! Men if you are not happy with the person that you are with or the decision you have made about a certain someone, let them go. Live your best life as a single man with no ties to anyone. Step to a woman when you are ready to receive her love and can reciprocate that. I would never want some half ass love, you can save that. I know people go through things, but please don’t include me in the bullshit. I have a pure and loving heart that is here for the real thing. It’s the audacity of some of these men that I can’t deal with or tolerate.

With this blog I didn’t want to come off as bashing men, but if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and acts like a duck… it’s a damn duck. And sometimes you got to call a spade a spade. When you find someone that is genuinely trying to meet you half way, it’s your duty to do the same… if that’s what you ultimately want. And if that’s not, get the hell out of the relationship game until you are ready!

My Confidently Awkward Peeps continue to be true to yourself and others. Love on yourself that much more without question! This is a safe, fun, and nonjudgmental space… use it for those purposes! LIKE, COMMENT, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE! If you would like to reach out to me, my email is theconfidentlyawkward@gmail.com. But until next time Peeps continue to be CONFIDENTLY AWKWARD… UNAPOLOGETICALLY that is!!!